April 15? That's nothing!

As I have said before, I have had this degree of "counselor" since 1991. I often asked myself "Why was someone else chosen for the counselor's job? Why was I over looked?" I don't know how many times my hopes were up, only to come crashing down. And now...I sit in an office with the sign "Counselor" outside the door and am certain that God raised me up "at the right time"; that He was comforting when He said "I know the plans I have for you"; and that for every season there is "a time".
I will never reveal who; what; when; or where, but I will tell you that in the last 3 weeks of my life (in the dreaded month of October) God has shown me "the time" was right, within "His plans" during the right season(October). Our campus is home to several students who have experienced the death of an immediate family member. Three of those students just happen (by God's design) to fall under my half of the alphabet. The other was a student of mine last year. I have done more grief counseling in the last 3 weeks than they say they do in a year. Never once did I ask "Could someone else handle this?" I met them at the door. Went to find them in their rooms and talked honestly with them. I hugged them...males and females...felt sick to my stomach with them, and promised to find them daily and check on them. We talked about the "fun" they had with their loved one, drew pictures, and discussed the fears of going home each day. Through all of that I held firm. No tears. Just me being a strong hold for them and then.............today!
Today my student 'K' came to my office with a gift and a "thank you" for helping him since loosing his father. Today.........8 years later....I lost it. Today.......a 12-year old's father came to see me. We called her in for the surprise conference where she started with the rolling of the eyes, the quick responses, and that "huffiness". At the end of the conference I looked her in the eyes and told her that she will hug her father before leaving my office. She will tell him thanks for coming and helping her out of the hole she was in and when she looked at me like I might be crazy.....I lost it! With that stupid quivering chin, I left her with the comment that my own two children will never tell their dad thank you. They won't ever have Dad come work it out because "I buried their daddy 8 years ago today". She hugged him. Thanked him. Told him she loved him. And they went home. Situation not completely solved but resolved for today.
I am not the greatest. I KNOW I am just the rookie and learning.........I don't particularly like the way God prepared me for this job. HOWEVER...He prepared me. God has placed me where I am in order to serve Him at this time in this place.
Once again my friend who said: "Don't ask why, just pray for peace" was wise! When you find yourself in the dip of the roller coaster ride, don't panic, don't sit and ask why. God will raise you up. Pray for peace! April the 15th....a piece of cake. It's only money. October 15? That's my heart!

That durn pig!

It is probably with bated breath (whatever that really and truly is) that you have been awaiting the next installment of "My Life". Ha Ha...me too! Who has time for blogging.....obviously someone who has 26 hours in a day, 9 days a week, and is very organized!
It has been a great experience to own a pig. We will now have electricity in the barn. We are having 2 of the stalls cemented with a slope for runoff water. We all three own our own muck boots (Makaley's are leopard). And...we have found out that you can sell a non-show pig for up to $1,300.00. It is amazing how much work gets done in the pig pen at the barn and not at the pig pen in our house. It is amazing how much squealing can go on in the barn. Let me give you an example.
Last Thursday we were all very calmly hanging out in the barn enjoying the flies and fresh aroma of pig poop. It was a "not to hot" afternoon, and the kids had just finished the chores in the barn. (I use that term loosely since the barn is more like a nicely-covered, 4 dirt floor stalls with a runway down the center of the barn.) My precious, very stubborn daughter convinced me to allow her the opportunity to walk Wilbur around and show me how well she can do this activity. We barricaded the gate to the field with another pig panel and our stealthy scary looking bodies! Makaley begin the walking process. About the time she gets down the runway and closer to the gate, the wind blew the wrong direction or Wilbur just saw freedom, but that ding-dang pig flew over the little pig panel right through the bars of the gate to freedom. Now, let me say here that if you lived where people kept your food bucket full, water at your beck and call AND cool red mud to just lay in....wouldn't you stay put? Nope this pig jumped and ran. Well, the daughter begin crying and screaming for someone to do something...the son started squealing while standing with his fingers in his ears...I was TRYING to tell them to stay calm but having to scream over the ruckus, AND the "man"...well, he tackled the pig and that thing started in on the squealing too! Nothing but squealing! Every breath of air was squealing. I still have a headache.
It is also amazing how you begin to look like your animal. Once at the soccer field we saw a lady with a certain type of dog. My son told my daughter "hey they look alike. She must have gotten him from the Barkery!" Yesterday I walked into the barn with two very clean children. Wilbur had been digging for hours in the mud from the rain. My son was concerned that "he didn't get out the gate so do you think he is working on another escape passage?" I left them to chores while I walked off the frustration of not having my computer at school (long story). I returned to find a filthy red pig, and two children who looked about the same. I found that funny but not as funny as when Kauy walked Wilbur on Sat. night and Makaley said to the whole crew: "Look, he has the same swing in his hips as mom does.".........On that thought I may decide to play in the red mud.

Meet our newest Family Member

Those of you who know me well, know that there is no way that I would give birth at this age! Let's face it...you need two things in order to achieve that, and I have neither! So, my kids have been begging me to get our fence fixed so that K could get a dog and M could bring her dog, Bella, to stay with us at home. I have avoided the "get a new pet" thing as best as I could. I have given the "we'll have to see" speech which the kids swear translates into "no" more than once. However, they finally wore me down. I have finally succumbed to the pressure, the puppy dog eyes, the whining and the"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease" moments in our home. Hey, we can't keep this house clean so why not add more to it. And one of the two fish from the fair died within two days of winning it. Of course, the one that is left in the "old fishbowl" is now my newest morning conversation partner. He swims; I feed; I talk; He listens. Gotta love it. The fish in his room has become my final stop of the night.......He swims; I feed; I clean; I yell about his dirty tank, and we go to bed. Our newest pet. What a pig! I mean he is filthy most of the time. He eats like a pig.......He smells like a pig........His bed is a total mess! He has hair in his eyes, his tail wags constantly, and he poops like crazy. Best part.........I am Not allowed to do much of anything to help the kids out. It is their job...not mine. Well, I did scoop poop, but hey, my son doesn't flush half the time and sometimes when he does I have to get the plumbers friend so....scooping poop? It's a cinch. So I would like to introduce you to our newest family member. All comments about a family resemblance will be stricken from the blog. Ladies and Gents..........meet Wilbur!

Guess what we did!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Under the Oak Tree

Today I found peace and quiet. I refreshed myself in a moment of God's peace and His quietness under an oak tree while standing with family and friends.
My children and I attended the funeral of a friend whose family has been a part of our lives since I was about 10. She was only 6 years older than me. She was a "horse lover" from "the get go". She comes from what we call "good jeans" and she looked cute in her boots and jeans! She was a strong, giving, loving, Christian woman.
The honor given to her at the cemetery spoke to my heart. I have decided it must be a "cowboy way" kind of thing for true cowboys and cowgirls to be buried under big beautiful oak trees. The family cemetery is out on a country road on small slope of ground where your eyes can follow the double lane road that roller coasters on down to green grass, fields, tall trees, ranches and grazing cattle. And so.....as we stand there gathered around the "green funeral tent" under shady oak trees, our eyes are focused on a beautiful wagon driven by a team of huge black Perchin horses moving slowly up the double lane road. All is quiet except the jingling of the harnesses and the clomping of hooves. In the wagon rests the oak casket covered with dozens of yellow roses. Behind the wagon walk the pallbearers who are soon joined by the ministers and then by the family. All is quiet....... except for the sounds of "country". Peace! Perfect Precious Peace. How fitting. In the quiet and peacefulness, the casket it set for the final prayer and thoughts. BUT...just as the minister is about to begin, God gives us one of his well timed "stress relievers". My kids spot a brown horse across the fence at the back of the cemetery. And at just the right moment, it lets out one long loud whinny......then vanishes. In the peace, in the quiet, in the confidence of her new life we all bow in prayer.
The peace found in that small cemetery was welcomed. It was a day to be reminded of God's love and His grandeur.
It reminded me of another oak tree in a quiet cemetery almost 8 years ago. It is a place where I can find peace and quiet. Something that my day in and day out schedule is missing. I needed peace today....under an oak tree. Thanks "D".

Just the latest......in life

Now you can ask if I like my job! Yes, I do. I really do. This office is full of people who are set on making it best for the kids. It is an office filled with people who care about everybody! It is an office who laughs with me at my mistakes!! And let me say that I have made several!
So, I think I will stay.
I guess that the funny part of the thing is my own two children. Yes, my son still struggles. The other day I told him that I thought we might need to go visit with a counselor about some issues we are dealing with (nothing bad!). He sat there a moment, grabbed my arm and said "You're a counselor, can't you help us?" I laughed! Told him it would be like me trying to advise someone who was having eating problems. He just stood firm that "Mom, you are the counselor!"

As a treat for cleaning rooms and mowing the lawn for me, we ate at a local restaurant which is a little out of my budget.....especially when my kids go there and decide they don't want fish after all and they will just have mac and cheese. NOPE not on my bill! So as they are devouring our bread supply, I remind them that the last time we ate out they weren't hungry because they had eaten half a bucket of peanuts while sitting at the table. In the nice quiet room, Mr. K announces that "I didn't eat any bread there, but I ate a lot of peanuts, and I put butter on them first so actually I had peanut butter without the bread." To my delight the table of 8 next to us broke into laughter and repeated his statement to anyone else who didn't hear it. Poor Miss thing..as a big 5th grader that is just enough to make her crawl under the table.

Yesterday however was even better. My two love the songs from ABBA so we were eating lunch, (yes I cooked lunch on a Sunday!) and listening to the songs. Miss M asked me if I thought they might get to watch the movie when it comes out. I told them that I would probably discuss it with Aunt T. and let them know. After a long silence, Mr K responded with, "Hello, you gave birth to us didn't you? Or..(with his finger under his chin and those thought filled eyes) did you?" Miss thing just started laughing!!!

So this morning............I thought I would be funny and wake everybody up by using the water bottle. They didn't think I was funny. Everyone at work did.

To the point!

Hey, today I actually found the following: the top of my desk, the back side of the folder holding "things to do", an email to laugh at, an old friend, a horrible grade on my son's spelling test, an hour at the table doing homework..just the three of us, a parent that I pleased, my blog spot, and a wonderful rain storm! It was a great day! What about you?
If you want inspiration.........check one of the sites in my friends and family section!