If you didn't know..

Venus is a planet containing a lot of "assed". Yep, it is on the power point! I don't know whose face was more priceless...my mom or my daughter. BUT...we smiled and said..."really?" So next time someone is being a jerk....send them to Venus!

Is there a comic in the house?

We are watching Last Comic Standing, and I am laughing soooo hard. Not at the comics, but at my son as he laughs out loud. Of course you would have to be here to hear him repeat the funnies. He has us laughing so hard we can't even hear the end of the jokes. His true laughter is infectious. Love nights like tonight....and those nights last week when he was the only comic standing at our house.

Let me share with you the joys of this energetic child.

• We got a pool for his dog. He asked me why there was a warning label on a pool that doesn't hold much water. Next morning in the pool filled with about 3 inches, we found a little mouse floating around (all feet sticking out and tail straight). As he walks by, K. says very matter of fact, "Hmmm, guess he couldn't read the warning label."
• We have enjoyed listening to the radio as we drive across town a gazillion times a day for our camps and work. One of my daughter's favorite songs come on and without missing a beat he sings "She threw up....in the middle of the road. Where the wheat fields grow and the winters cold....An American funny."
• I asked the kids to check the Constable's car next to us to see if it was a friend of ours. My daughter asked what a Constable was and K. replied..... that's the stuff you put on your hamburger. (Okay, you probably had to be there to laugh at that one)
• Friday, one of my favorite Don Williams Songs came on. When it finished, I heard a little voice in the back singing...Living on toes tonight. Living on toes tonight. I told him that was not the words and my daughter said....well it is if you are a chigger!
• Probably one of my favorites....he was in horse camp last week. Not exactly the big cowboy, but he was working hard. He had a dirt ring around his neck that was a sign of where he had probably spent most of the morning. Any way, he is hauling his saddle back to the barn on the 3rd and final day and looks up with that precious dirty fact and asks: "Mom, do you that that S. (his friend) and I can team rope?" Without cracking a smile, I replied.....yes, as soon as you learn to put on a saddle. My thought really was...rope? We haven't even mastered leading the horse to the arena

I love my kids. May not like what they do all the time, but I do love them!!!!

Buy the way......you have to see the commercial where the guy is drunk and his friend asks for the keys....the guys says no and then the friend finds a way to get the keys. I heard it once on TV tonight..........4 times in the living room after it was done and over! Of course...laughter filling the air here.

And the next animal is....

What is up with me and the animals? This time....a turkey. Okay, seriously, the last two times..a turkey. Now, I could use the plural form, but I am not certain if it is the same turkey or not. BUT....If I were a detective on some TV show (that I love to watch on Mon. evening) I would say it was the same one. Both times, she has been standing there in the middle of the road. Instead of taking of and "flying" away, she begins to run. Well, we decided this morning that she runs like a dachshund puppy with longer legs. Not only does she run, but she runs down the middle of the road. Right down the middle of the road...in front of my car. My son decided that she is practicing fleeing from the hunters. My daughter just sits and laughs at the way it runs. I am simply seeing that bird with dressing, cranberry sauce, and some gravy! How did Ms. Noah not see the animals for what they really were? Breakfast, lunch and supper? Oh, and beef jerky is a great snack!

I am no ark!

I had to post the previous thought before I could continue on with the next. (If you haven't read yesterday, then Stop now do so before moving on.) You see, just the thought of being on the ark was scary enough for me. I didn't even talk about the smell as my friend Sarah suggested because "smelly animals" are part of my life...whether they have two feet or four. And even though I would have needed some medication for the boat ride, I never thought twice about actually being the ark...........until Friday!
Friday we woke to thunder, heavy rain, and water everywhere. The amount of water was nothing until I hit the intersection of Rebecca and Catclaw Dr. There is where the water met the door, and my heart went to pounding. Not because of the water (I am in left turn lane and cars on all sides throwing water everywhere), but because as I am focusing on the road, my precious daughter begins to scream. It sounded something like high pitched noise and then "A mouse __ the car". Excuse me? which preposition did I hear? In? On? And, since I couldn't really decipher, I just started to scream with her. I still didn't see anything but quickly decided that screaming might keep "it" away! I began to frantically search for a dry spot where I could pull over and open the door without filling the floorboard( and I drive a Tahoe!) It was as I was looking toward the right side of the road that I saw it! The mouse. He wasn't in the car, he was on the car. Well, not on the car, but actually riding on the windshield wiper for a moment. So, I screamed! She screamed. "It" (although I could see the underside, I didn't ask it to sit still long enough to decided male or female) so, "It" soon got off the windshield wiper and tried to run to her side of the car and jump onto the mirror. The next tidal wave sent "it" scampering back into the place where the wipers lay. As the wipers would come on, "it" would run back and forth from my side to hers trying not to be hit by the wipers. This continued for some time. Soon "it" ran down on the hood so I hit the brakes thinking I might throw it! Ha...small but mighty and right back into the wiper hole! More screaming. Then "it" decides to attempt a run up the window. More screaming. All the time, my son is in the back cheering "it" on saying how "fun" this is! I drop the son off at school, and our passenger stays with us. I don't know how far it is from his school to mine, but I can tell you that it takes 6 minutes in dry weather, and in wet weather it takes much longer especially if you are screaming off and on. Like that mouse could hear me yell to get off the window!
So, I wonder....When the floods came and the boat door shut, were there animals trying to get into the ark with Noah? Did Mrs. Noah scream when the mice were playing in the ark? Did God get all of those animals to rest so that the dog didn't chase the cat who chased the mouse who would have driven me to screaming? And was Noah the typical man who says "It is only a mouse for goodness sakes. It can't hurt you much less get into the car!"
I am so thankful for the rainbow. I would have been worthless on Noah's ark! God made for this time in this place and I am thankful that we haven't had to build an ark...
Go ahead...pass out. Two postings in two days. You probably think I have time on my hands. Well, I actually do. Tony is out of town, and hello....it is too wet to work in the yard. Think I will go put mothballs in the garage.

3 days and 3 nights...but not griping!

It has been raining for 3 days. I am not complaining about 3 days of good soaking moisture. Somewhere during the day I was asked if I could imagine 40 days and nights of this. No I can't. Worse that that, I can't imagine 40 days and nights on a boat with 2 of every animal! I have always loved the story about Noah but now that I am the mother of two, owner of a dog on anxiety medication and owner of a house with cement floors and 10ft. ceilings.........(how did they muffle the sound?)I really love Noah and his story. Maybe I should love his wife even more!
Seriously....40 days and nights with nothing but rain; on a boat with no swimming pool, shuffle board, ping pong table, or better yet, no bottles of nail polish, no computer, DVD's, ipods or iphones? And then, my son would be asking(no probably not asking) to ride the elephants, swing with the monkeys and tell jokes to the hyenas. Of course if the animals are "resting" then I can't imagine the "Hey mom, M said that......" "I DID NOT....He ....first and then..." "No that is not the way it happened..can I tell you just one thing..." Don't forget the "I'm bored". And let's not overlook the bolts of lightening and rumbles of thunder that awakens my son so that he can find his way into my bed, chair, bathroom whatever. Maybe in the ark, everyone just picked an animal and slept beside it. So, I am thankful for this rain, but am so glad that I don't have to endure it in a boat....with animals, and no entertainment. Of course...can you imagine how nice it was to land on dry ground? My son seems to have landed in the best mud around town. I have yet to put up the broom. And by the way....I would sleep next to the owls. It seems that today my sentences all start with "Who?"
I can hang on...I will take the rain....we have trees to plant!

Random thought...

It may be difficult to really tell in this picture, but this mom has all her ducks in a row. How many times do we wish we had all our ducks in a row so that........(you fill in the blank). BUT, look closely. Not all of her ducks are facing the same direction. That would just be my luck! So the question is....Is it still okay if you have all your ducks in a row, but they are not perfectly arranged? Will it still be the same?
We are getting ready for the local county livestock show. I promise you we think our ducks are in a row, but when we get in the arena..........one thing can send them scattering! Ever tried to keep a pig focused? Ever tried to keep pigs and kids focused? At the same time?
Our ducks are in a row but I promise....they aren't facing the same direction. Let's see what the outcome is. I will give you the scientific results next week.

It's not just football....

I have had several thoughts on the Texas & Alabama game last night. Things like..no matter what, Texas won. Whether it be by the quarterback from Southlake or the quarterback from Tuscola...of course, the one from Tuscola is much more powerful a player(in my eyes) and stats. And thoughts like... is my explanation to my children about extortion not judgemental. Of course there were other thoughts....like when my daughter said....trust Mom, just trust and they were behind by three.
But the main thought has been the one that tugged at my mind all day. The thought of how our lives are parallel to that game last night. You see, like the Longhorns, we attend all of our trainings, listen to the coaches, read the play books, and work hard to be good. And through these things, we prepare to play our hearts out on the field of life. We find confidence that we are on solid ground. We catch passes, we throw the ball, we sometimes just punt and sometimes we score. There are family and friends traveling along with us that cheer and there are those that boo. We continue to listen, read, and work hard. Then suddenly we are hit, tackled or blindsided by something whether it be bigger than us or smaller than us. We are no longer able to sing our "swan song" of life. We are sitting there like a duck..quacking and calling out.
Last night Colt taught us all a lesson. Not a lesson about football. But a much better lesson on showing God to others. When life fumbles and we can't recover, we don't stand there and talk about how great we are, how hard we played and that how we should have been given this or that. We stand and say "I don't ask God why. I just know that He is in charge, and I stand on His rock.
It's all in the word! The 3 letter word. It's on HOW we handle.......it's WHO we let handle it.
My heart hurt for Colt and the whole team. I so wanted him to have that final glory of championship. He had planned for this for years. Probably since he could hold a ball. However, once again, I got my wish, but only the way Colt could really do it. He did get the championship......when he gave the Glory to God in the middle of a broken heart.
It's not just football..........it's a lesson we need to live. I don't do it as often as I should.
Way to go Texas......Way to go Colt.....Thank you Lord for the safety of all.
It's my life and I'm stickin to it.....but I will try to better it!