For what it is worth.

Wow this week at church has just been wonderful. I have needed it oh so much. There are times in my life that I am not bouncing off the wall with excitement. I do wear my emotions on my sleeve..shoulder...face..and voice! Somedays are just going to be "those" days. Yesterday was one. And so..........I am asking a favor of you. Pray for me. Pray for my two children. There is nothing "terrible" going on. It is just that I want my two children to be "good" Godly children. I don't mean angels. I don't expect that on this earth. I just want them to be respectful, kind, hardworking, honest, loving, AND know how to persevere when things get tough. (Yes, I do want them to be a better parent than I am, to be responsible adults, and to put the dishes away, make a bed, and keep some kind of path in their room in case of fire.)
Kauy has had a terrible week. After weeks of great grades, very few marks, and eleven stickers for focusing....... this week has just gone down the tube. He has no desire to learn. He told my mother that "I will drop out of school just like my dad and be okay". There is nothing harder for me than to watch one of my children hurt, but watching my mother cry over this is killing me. I feel like my son's firey spirit is being put out, and the reprocussion of that may be not good.
So I ask...Is this because we are a family of teachers and see what can become of my children...good or bad? Is it because I am expecting too much because I am a teacher/mother? Is he just being a boy (many remind me of this)? I am tired, frustrated, and feel that my son has been the "target" as far as behavior is concerned. Now on the bright side.........I can not keep him away from books lately. He loves to read aloud to me. His reading level since my "parent conference" has increased. He may not be the "club sandwhich" in the basket, but he isn't "bologna" either.
How does church fit into this? Well, Sunday's service was wonderful! I will tell you more at a later post. Last night there were two stories told. One was about a lion and a heartbeast (I think was the name) Anyway, it will the deer like animal will run, run, run when being chased by a lion. When the lion crouches to wait, the beast will stop and seems to be thinking "now why was I running. Hmmm I am hungry so I will eat some grass". With the lion sitting in wait, this beast will stop, eat and just forgets what it was doing. When it finally turns its backside to the lion, the lion attacks. When we are not looking out, we too will pounced on by the lion. So, we need to be watchful. The second story gave me great hope. It was the story of Kem. She told about her drug habits. Her time in and out of jail. Her life as a mess. She told of the night she felt the hand of God, but yet continued on her path. Later, her life changed. In the video she talked about the grace of God being all that she has. BUT what I saw in that interview was the hope we have when we decide to get out of the muck and yuck! Wow she was just powerful. I know her...I see her now and as she has been for at least 10 years. What a wonderfully powerful lesson.
So, I was once again reassured of the hope for my children. The hope for me. My problems are not life threatening nor are they life changing at this point. We are not into anything as heavy as the drug world, but in our world today, low self-esteem is what can lead young down that path. I have hope that God will put people into Kauy's life that will help build that self-esteem. I know that through prayer, God can and will deliver my children onto the "paths of rightousness". It won't be through me!