And I cried last night!

So off of the high....down the slopes to the condo. Yep. I cried last night. Even took a longer way home from my McMurry class. I cried because the pharmacy made me show proof that Makaley was mine (wrong b-date in computer). I cried because right in the middle of my class, my favorite bracelet...a link type with a heart in the middle given to me by Suzie, broke. I mean, it just broke. I cried because I was tired. And..........I cried because I looked over at one of my favorite blogs, Confessions of the pioneer woman, found myself just staring at the pictures dreaming of how I loved someone just like her Marlboro man and realized that the wrangler wearing, hat wearing, bow-legged, boot wearing, mustached man who helped me bring Miss Makaley into this world will not be there in the waiting room with me while she has her little (15 min.) tonsil surgery. So, I confess that after almost 7 1/2 year, I still have my moments. I miss him. I miss his deep voice. His confidence. And I miss his attitude of (as he once told me)..."I will get you the moon, tie it down, and whoop anyone who tries to take it from you." He was always that way. I miss the relationship.
Don't get me wrong. I have a great faith, great support of friends, wonderful family and yes even another man in my life. I am thankful, blessed and happy. But.........this is "our" baby. The one of two children who knew the gentle huge hands of a loving true cowboy. She was comforted by her daddy's mustache, and voice. He should be there in body for her. But since he won't, the family will be. AND this morning during the moment of silence..........I once again asked God to send His biggest best cowboy guardian angel to watch over "our" angel and the doctors.
Although sometimes I get frustrated with where I am in life.........It is my life and I promise to stick to it!