Ode to the toilet paper (see previous post)

Ode to, Charmin my on a roll friend
With soft white little squares
You are the only one my family
will allow to clean our derrieres

You are one of those things
That we can't live without
Like water, air, food and shelter
You are just as valuable no doubt.

My house has been void
Of your appearance for hours
And the thought of corn cobs, magazine pages and whatever
just turned our smiles sour .

I offered one the Kleenex (no wipes around)
But that would not do
The other said he would just hold
On to his “do” too.

Not a square did we have
Our lives almost at a stop
Until we were able to get to Walgreen's
To the paper goods aisle we went with a hop.

There you were…
On the right hand side of the aisle
You were on sale
So I got enough for awhile.

My grandmother would have said
"Just get the newest sales catalog
We used the more natural version but
First ate the corn from the cob."

So…I will be on my never ending watch
I promise to never let you get low
Because I don’t think that anything scratchy
Would be good for my old butt hole. (sorry about that. It was just the write thing at this moment. I would ground my child if he/she said that! But I can blame it on hormones, age, or stress)